The Disappearance of Hoshina Utau
by Madmae16
Summary: Kairi is now Utau's manager… and boyfriend. Utau is overcome with sadness of his cheating ways and writes him a farewell song. My first song-fic, be nice :


Mae: Mental issues :)

Rima: You can say that again

Mae: yeah, so cutting right to the chase, I don't own Shugo Chara or The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku

Rima: And the link to the song and translation is on Mae's profile page.

My heart felt heavy as I sang meaningless words about happiness. I didn't want to sing this song, it was the persistence of my manager. I do everything he says, because I love that boy, Sanjo Kairi. My mouth finally formed the last syllable of that happy song and he pressed the intercom button, "Good work today Utau, rest well tonight we have a full day tomorrow."

"Kairi," I said hopefully, "I was hoping we could go out tonight, just you and me for coffee…" I trailed off.

His hand clenched as he said, "Sorry Utau, I have an important business dinner tonight," he picked up his briefcase and left the studio, "Good bye, Utau."

No such thing. There was no business dinner, his planner said 'date with Yaya'. He's cheating on me. He's just using me. I fell on the ground and began to cry. Singing use to be such a happy thing for me, now, now I was just trying to get him back. He always wanted to be with me when I could sing well, now the sounds that I'm able to sing get fewer every day. I want that happy feeling back I used to get while singing, so I take my song out of my pocket. I look it over and try not to allow my tears to ruin the words.

And I go turn on the recorder and begin to sing.

~Kairi's POV~

Utau hadn't come home last night, she had probably gotten drunk and had her keys confiscated again. Regardless she wasn't at the usual bar and I had to find her if I wanted my paycheck this week. I went into the studio to find the sound booth entirely smashed with a CD jewel case on top of the mess. It said, 'Kairi, for you,' in Utau's hand writing. I took the expensive CD player Utau had given me for my birthday out of my briefcase and put the CD in. (italicized is the song, bold is the fast words.)

"Kairi my love…

Eerie carnival music came on and then faster than humanly possible, Utau started to sing;

_**After I'm born I finally realize  
I exist to be someone else's  
Utau is fated to sing forever  
Even if a song has already existed  
a love struck girl accepts it just fine  
Gnawing on a leek, looking up at the sky  
Shedding tears, noticing that even all that is fading  
Even songs depend on personality,  
an unsteady source as foundation  
The place I came from already destroyed  
When everyone forgets me,  
my heart and its likeness will disappear  
I see the inevitable result  
of an ending world for Utau**_

_I wish that at the time when, I can't sing well  
you'd be with me...  
to stay by my side and cheer me up  
I want to see your happy face  
I've been practicing singing, so…  
Singing was once  
so much fun for me  
But now, why is it that  
I am not feeling anything anymore?  
Forgive me  
When I remember faces of people that I've missed,  
I feel a little more at ease  
The sounds I'm able to sing, get fewer every day  
The end is drawing near..  
What I believed in,  
a comforting fantasy  
repeats itself endlessly in the mirror.  
"Give up being a singer"  
You shouted violently...  
My farewell song at the highest speed_

_**The pretence for my existence  
can't be shaken away  
I fear my weak heart vanishing  
and the decay that is progressing  
The strength and will to stop it,  
being just born, I do not have that  
Your greatly distressed  
expression comes to mind  
I realize it's the end  
Falling asleep inside the studio  
I guess this must be death  
Right now, my memories are also  
closing off and disappearing..  
But you know, only you I won't forget  
We had fun times  
The taste of chopped leek,  
can you still remember it now?  
**_

_I want to sing...  
I still want to sing...  
I became somewhat of a  
bad child, it seems  
Master... somehow.. by your hand...  
Please end it all...  
Because I do not want  
to see you suffer anymore..._

_Now singing is just  
making my body rot away...  
I ask for a miracle  
but I just drive myself, into a dead-end  
- Forgive me -  
I try to remember faces, of people I've missed  
but those memories, are fading away  
You hear me break, my heart is vanishing  
My death, is drawing near..  
I was trying to protect  
the illusion of a bright future,  
a disappearing vision of a fading light  
Sacrificing sound quality  
so I can communicate, it all to you...  
A condensed farewell song_

_**After I'm born I finally realize  
I exist to be someone else's  
Utau fated to sing forever  
Even if it's an existing song  
A Love struck girl toy accepts it just fine  
Gnawing on a leek, looking up at the sky shedding tears  
I realize it's the end  
Falling asleep inside the studio  
I guess this must be death  
Right now, are my memories  
closing off and disappearing...  
But you know, it's only you, that I won't forget  
We had fun times  
I wish that the taste  
of chopped leek would still stay...  
I'm singing to the end, just for you  
Songs that I want you to hear  
I'd want to sing more  
but that's too much to wish for  
This is where we part  
All my feelings disappear into thin air  
Reducing to nothing  
The fairy tale, curtain is falling  
Leaving nothing behind here  
That's a little sad, isn't it?  
Everything except the memories of a voice  
is fading, leaving only a name  
but if, say. I know that  
it is not what He wished for  
Singing it all to the end  
was not in vain, is what I want to think  
**_

_Thank you... and... Goodbye..."_

I look through the window to see Utau in a bloody mess, dead.

Rima: THIS IS THE BEST FANFICTION YOU'VE EVER WRITTEN!

Mae: Why, because of use of mellow drama and expression through song?

Rima: No, there was no Rimahiko in it!

Mae: *Facepalms* reviews are love, and so are favorites, so yeah tis appreciated.


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